Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Karma and Kourse Registration

Since my parents are the only ones who read this blog (love you mom and dad!) there's not much I can say about my weekend except that karma, bitch that she is, hit me hard Monday morning with a good old case of the Kenyon Krud.  I deserved it though.  Word to the wise: Kenyon's a bit too small sometimes, especially when you're out on a Friday night finding a rebound.

Seriously, the worst part about being sick in college is that there's no one to take care of you, and now that I'm newly single this realization hit me doubly hard.  I had to stagger out of bed to heat up ramen all by myself, and I'm sure my suite-mate has been scarred for life at the sight of an unbathed me, kleenex hanging out my nose and hovering over the microwave.  Apart from my two or three ventures to make soup, my day consisted of sleeping and watching crappy rom-coms on Netflix instant.

It was what I would call an uneventful day, that is until I was awoken from my slumbers by the soulful stylings of the one, the only, Johnny Melodica!  I have been waiting for this day since move-in, the day when I would witness my suite-mate's alter-ego, the day my life would have meaning.  My head was pounding, and my throat felt like weasels were clawing my esophagus but I was happy, so happy.  However, I am now beating myself up over the fact that I was too feverish/ecstatic to remember the new song he was practicing!  Failure, I totally deserve ten more days of the Krud for that.  But for a few brief moments, through the cement block walls on the 9th floor of Caples, I heard a "melodica soloooooo" live!

So now that your life has been forever changed, you can continue to read about mine.  The bad karma continued through Tuesday, only now it manifested itself in the form of online registration.  I am saddened to say that I AM THE 1% (of students who had problems with online registration).  I literally got registered for one class.  There were errors with the other 6 I tried.  I spent a good 15 minutes after my registration time finding random classes that looked mildly interesting and trying to register for them all while reading everyone else's Facebook statuses about how they got all their classes and it was ZOMGSOEAZZZYYY.

Whatever.

My experience with online registration was more like an abusive relationship.  It actually got very personal when I started speaking to the courses as if they were real people...

Survey of Art, I know that the freshmen are very exciting, they're new and not afraid to try different departments, but do you really need to keep 15 spots open?  Ditto for you, Intro to Cultural Anthropology.  I spend every day slaving over the online course worksheet for you, trying to fit you in.  I would have gotten up at 8 AM for you, and this is how you repay me?  Leave me out in the cold, trying to find refuge in another section?  And Stat Analysis in Psych, nowhere in your description does it say that Research Methods is a prerequisite for you.  I've been around the Psych department for a semester already, I'm very experienced, I promise you won't be disappointed.  So get your shit together, then we can register.  But after this morning I expect you to take me out to dinner.  At the Kenyon Inn.  And don't even try to pay with your K-Card, my Chicken Saltimbocca is coming out of your pocket.

Now before I leave you and your perfect second semester course schedule, I have a parting thought.  I bought this box of "cool touch" kleenex today from the Market that claims to "immediately feel cool to the skin."  And they DO!  I thought it was a hoax, I only bought them because they were in the biggest box and my nose is running like Niagara Falls; but then I used them and they actually are cold.  I know what you're thinking, "Kisky, they're only cold because you carried them outside from the Market back to Caples" but you would be wrong!  So wrong!  I am using them now, many hours after bringing them back, and each kleenex is nice and cool on my irritated, red nose.  I am in awe.  And clearly on too much cold medicine.

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