Come to Kenyon!

It is a Motown kind of day outside.  Beautiful and a little windy, not too hot but not too cold and after a couple weeks of miserable cold rain and mud all a girl needs is some sun and The Foundations to make her feel happy again.  No, I do not belong in this decade.  But this weather got me thinking to how last week I had to give tours in the non-relenting rain and hurricane-like winds.  So that was my segue-way to talk about how I wish I could give a "True Life Tour of Kenyon."  It wouldn't be hard, Kenyon's tour guide program is already pretty lax as anyone on first floor Lewis knows since I've probably knocked on their door at odd hours trying to show their room to a group of strangers.  But there are times when I have to catch myself before I blurt out something that I find funny but prospective students and their parents would not.  A few examples with the "True Life" parts in red:

"Yeah, you don't need to sign into the dorms here, your K-Card gives you access to all the residential buildings.  In fact, most students don't even lock their doors and we just started locking the actual dorm buildings last year because there was a scary murderer who chopped up two people and stuffed them in a tree and he was supposedly spotted on campus!"

"The average class size is about 15 students, with a 10 to 1 student/faculty ratio...but each incoming class has been getting bigger and bigger and most of my classes are around 20/25 students crammed around a tiny table trying to keep the pretense of a small "seminar-style" class or getting moved to a lecture hall to fit in all the students who want to add the class, it's pretty easy to get into a class you want.  My smallest class?  Oh, five students.  It was Labanotation.  You've never heard of it?  Exactly."


Now we're heading towards South Campus where most of Greek Life is located.  We even have a couple co-ed Greek organizations, the Archons who do a lot of community service, and the PEEPS who do a lot of drugs.  Ahead is Old Kenyon, where most of the parties are held.  There's no pressure to drink here at Kenyon but if you don't, you will in no way enjoy grinding with random people in a dark basement, standing in puddles of questionable substances."


Occasionally I even get to give tours to large groups of prospective football players.  The best part of those tours is when they inevitable ask about the football culture at Kenyon.

"So are students supportive of the team?  Do people go to the games regularly?"

"Hahahahahahahahaha.  We haven't won a game in two years, our coach retired and we don't even really have a football stadium.  My high school had a larger student section than we have here.  And actually, come to think of it, I don't even know when the games are.  And I'm not sure many students care, we're too busy being artsy and talking about our feelings.  Yeah.  Yeah, most students will go to a game."


I've had a couple interesting tours.  My favorite by far was the girl who asked if people who weren't students were allowed in Gambier.

...

No.  No they're not.  Actually now that you've revealed yourself as a non-student, this is the end of your tour.  The Gambier Border Patrol will come pick you up from a holding cell in Ransom Hall.  Please speak to no one about your visit here.

But really, I love Kenyon and I love being a tour guide.  Come to Kenyon!

XX Chromosomes

I thought I was a feminist until I came to Kenyon.  This may seem odd because Kenyon is so obsessed with gender equality and feminism, but some days I really feel excluded.  I like to wear makeup, do my hair, flirt with boys, and yes sometimes I think it could fall under "objectifying myself" but I always feel like a strong woman making choices I have no regrets about...or I guess I can't use the word "woman" because it has man in it.  Um, female?  No...that includes male.  Girl?  No, not that either, that word treats women as juveniles.  Lady?  Oh wait, that starts with "lad."  Please explain to me how I am supposed to refer to my own gender.  Or is it my own sex because it's a biological difference I'm talking about?  It's so easy to get confused!  And heaven forbid I refer to myself as a bitch.  Reclaim it!

At points I feel alienated for my views about the female gender.  I call women annoying, because let's face it girls, we are!  I would never want to deal with myself.  Half the time I don't even know why I'm upset.  I use a little extra cleavage to get discounts on things.  I wear clothes that accent my body and makeup to make my face look better.  I love a good push-up bra.  I don't feel like I have to do any of these things, but I think they work to my advantage.

I'm not sure why everything needs a separate "female" category or group.  It's as if women feel like in order to be noticed in a field they have to start their own subgroup.  We learned about the Women in Psychology group in Psych of Women today and it made me think, they're already in the field of psychology why can't they just play well with the men.  Why do they need their own subgroup?  Why do we have powderpuff football and regular football.  Why do we need to point out women in the arts or women in literature?  Just by having a career in the arts you're a woman in the arts, do you really need a group to point it out and in a way perpetuate the idea that men and women are separate in career fields?

This article on a website I frequent called HelloGiggles (one of the three founders was Zooey Deschanel, holla!) sort of explained my feelings on this.  The author wrote a previous post on types of gamers but didn't add "Girl Gamers" because girl is a gender not a category.  This website has been called anti-feminist by some people because it features posts about "cute things" or stereotypical girl interests like clothing, men, rom-coms, cooking.  Just because I like to watch youtube videos of baby animals while saving money on dresses and baking cookies for my boyfriend before going to yoga does NOT mean I'm antifeminist.  It just means I like dresses, cute things, being nice, and exercise.  I also like bad 80's rock, leather jackets, and learning about wars.  Being feminist has absolutely nothing to do with your interests, it has to do with feeling comfortable in your own skin.

I think a feminist looks like any woman who is confident with herself and achieves in what she sets out to do.  If that means she uses her sexuality to get ahead I see no problem with that.  A lot of women I know at Kenyon say that's bad, it's putting women behing and overly sexualizing them and I think that's bullshit.  Why can't a woman use her looks to get ahead?  Being a human is about using the whole package, that includes beauty and brains.  I want to be an actress and I know that in that field I will be judged for how I look, I will be typecast and have to appear a certain way.  That's just the profession, the men have to do it to.  You look at celebrities like Britney Spears for example, and see her videos thinking "Wow, it's sad that society's standards force female entertainers to overly sexualize themselves and dance around almost naked."  But you know what?  She found success, and there's nothing wrong with being a woman and using your sexuality to your advantage.

In some ways I think the way I think of feminism falls under "Liberal Feminism."  It's about individual empowerment.  And I'll be honest, I haven't had enough Psychology of Women classes yet to really speak about feminism in the broader sense, this is just my experience at Kenyon.  So hopefully I didn't grievously offend anyone, and I'd like to hear other opinions on this.  I know in some ways I'm very naive to the feminist movement, I just know what I've experienced and I'm probably wrong about a lot of things.

I know this post wasn't of my usual sarcastic and hopefully humorous nature and that's because I've been using all my recent joke ideas of my stand up routine.  So, if I haven't made you mad, or if I have and you want to throw Gloria Steinem books at me, come to the 2 Drink Minimum show on Saturday at 10!  With an opening act featuring my suite mate, the one, the only...Johnny Melodica!

If Everyone Cut Their Hair, Would You?

The inevitable has happened.  After years of getting my hair cut shorter and shorter, I have reached the point of no return.  My hair is too short.  And not in an edgy "I like girls now" kind of way; in a shrub kind of way.  I keep going back and forth between panic attacks of not being castable until it grows out and panic attacks of never hooking up again.  Either way, panic and a dry spell.

I have a theory that most girls at Kenyon will chop off all their hair at some point in their four years, or at least seriously contemplate it.  Now, I have become a self-fulfilling prophesy and I have to admit it's really nice to roll out of bed, comb my hair with my fingers and be done.  But I am nowhere near used to what I look like without hair to cover my neck, so in avoiding all the mirrors in my house I have found a plethora of new time to listen to more 80's music and contemplate the positives of a not-so-flattering new haircut.

1.  I won't get asked out in coffee shops by men over 50.  If you're using the line "come here often?"  you're too old for me, sweetie.

2.  I won't get asked out by men at all.  I can explore the uncharted territory of looking like a pre-pubescent boy.  I'll drive all the tween Twilight fans crazy.

3.  I don't have to brush my hair.  Now I will finally know what it's like to be a guy and just roll out of bed and head to class.  I can also give myself a killer mohawk.

4.  My neck will never get overheated.

5.  If I wear a hat I can look bald.  (Not sure if that's a plus, but it's an interesting effect)

6.  Short hair makes you feel spunky.  I've never really felt spunky before and while I still haven't achieved manic pixie dream girl status, the wannabe femme fatale in me has officially left the building.

Another plus that's sort of unrelated: winter break is over!  After a month at home I am more than ready to return to Kenyon, the land of short hair and flannel.  And the 8 hours of travel time are going to be so much better now that I don't have to worry about messing up my hair when I fall asleep on my tray table.  

Let the Countdown Begin...

Well hello, 2012!  Happy last year of existence, Earth!

I rang in my final New Year with my family in a cabin in the middle of the woods.  No champagne, no party, just pajamas and trivial pursuit.  I really started the year off with a bang.  BUT since it is my last year alive (thank you Mayans) I plan to make the most of it.  I figure since I wasn't Rapture-d and have survived the chaos thus far, the end of the world should probably be able to finish me off.  That and the fact that the only thing I find relevant about the Mayans in my day-to-day life is the delicious Mayan hot chocolate at Moonstruck.

I just want a cup of this waiting for me on the other side

Since I am now facing my own mortality I was kindly reminded that I was baptized when I was younger by my grandmother.  Since my immediate family is not religious my grandmother took it upon herself to ensure that her grandchildren did not wind up in Hell.  She got permission from her preacher (so it's legit) and waited until my parents were out of the house.  After ensuring the secrecy of her holy act, she baptized my brother and me in a bathroom sink and a couple years later, my sister in a river.  So, I know I'm safe as an unlocked bike at Kenyon, what about you?

My favorite part of starting a new year is reading everyone's Facebook statuses.  And laughing.  Let's all be honest, not only do I not need to see your New Year's resolutions but we all know that most likely, you aren't going to follow through on them.  At least the specific ones.  Yes, we all want to have "A GREAT NEW YEAR!"  because "OMG 2011 SUCKED" but we all know that when next year rolls around you'll just be complaining about how 2012 was terrible and "2013 IS MY YEAR GRRL"...good thing the world is ending so I won't have to read about it.  Or my personal favorite, the 365 picture challenge, that about half the people I know start every year, and only about one actually finishes.  It's a great idea, really...you should totally go for it.

Well I started 2012 off with a new blog design and knowledge on how to jump a car.  So, I think it's shaping up to be a pretty good year.  Or at least average.  So I say let's go into this year sprinting and see how many crazy hijinks I can get into before it all ends.  Since I was baptized I'll end up in heaven, and no one else there is going to have any good stories to tell.